15 Things I Wish I Knew at 15

I'm going to start out with something embarrassing.. but proof things change. This picture! haha. :)
This is me at 15.. and my mantra at 15.
Needless to say, I'm not the girl I was 6 years ago. Check out my Myspace page from back then for some reassurance.
I promise that life will change you and grow you.
Don't be scared to run with it. xoxo 




1. Stop fighting with your family, you need them these next four years.

2. Really, no one cares if you don't wear eyeliner one day. (Really.)

(Ps. This still applies at 19)

3. Your best friend in 9th grade probably won't be your best friend in 10th grade. That's okay.

4. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

5. Don't underestimate yourself, either. You. Got. This.

6. That jiggle in your thighs? That's called curves. Not everyone is lucky enough to have those. Embrace them.

7.  Myfakespace and Fakebookare filled with more drama than pictures that one girl has of herself. Stay as far away as you can!

(She types on the internet..)

8. Spend your time building your reputation, not defending it.

9. Don't gossip. Just don't go there. 

10. Don't fall in love too soon.

(This is my next blog topic. TBC.)

11. Don't grow up too fast!

12. Save some money. You won't, but don't say I didn't tell you.

13. You are worth more than cheap promises and grabby boys. Have enough respect for yourself to say no.. to dates and to running the bases. 

(yup, I just said that) (ps: you are doing awesome!)

14. You don't need a guy every second of your life. Be free and be young. Don't get tied down.

15. Take your heels off, get your hair wet at the pool, stay up too late. Have faith in people, yourself, and God. Let your positivity surprise you. Ask the hard questions and embrace the seasons of life that are coming your way. You'll never get this chance again.

Love, me.

Summer Lovin'.. and Looking Back

Okay, so this post is probably going to be different then the title suggests.. Hear me out.

I didn't have a steamy romance, go somewhere exotic, or spend every day on the beach drinking a (virgin) Piña Colada. Well, at least not in real life. No promises about my mental state.

Instead, I spent 12-15 hours a day waitressing in a cozy dining room at a camp in Forest Falls, CA. I got to wear a bow-tie and eat A LOT of desserts (Rice Krispies still bring me back); oh and I kind of learned a whole lot about myself too:


I believe that this summer I changed.. somewhat drastically. There is nothing like laying on top of a 6 story high water tower during a meteor shower, or being able to smell when a storm is coming, to make you feel small.. or to just make you feel again.

The fact is, I had a hard time with myself before this summer.

I was always measuring myself on a scale of what I wanted myself to be...

Instead of loving and embracing myself for who I was.

I was constantly worried about how I looked in my parents, peers, school admins, and my friend's eyes. I know they didn't put the pressure on me, but I also know that I was always trying to please them.

I was trying to please everyone, but myself. And it worked.

I had friends, boyfriends, an ASB position, and a great family life for a year or two.
But, as life always seems to do, it all changed in a moment.

Looking back, it's hard to pinpoint an event and point at it and cry, "There! That's where and why it all changed!" I don't know how to explain when or why, except for saying.. My heart began to hurt. All the time. In moments where I laughed, I was still aching. I didn't know what it was or why, I just knew that I was never happy.

My friends left. 

Betrayal, gossip, bullying and drama became my life. I would wake up to find my house egged or sardines in my lawn, where someone threw them. I wasn't accepted in my peers eyes anymore, I knew that.

The posts on Facebook after would say, "Fed the whale in Temecula her sardines last night!"

I knew I was hurting, but I was fat too?

I cried. I cried a lot. 

I tried to cope by working harder and eating less. I took on more hours at work.. on top of softball practice.. on top of a serious relationship.

I still cried. 

I didn't get much sleep, I slacked off in school and snapped at my parents due to sheer exhaustion, and I would take any friendship I could find. I relied on my boyfriend's compliments and support to help me function.

And it was still barely functioning. I didn't want to die, but I didn't have anything to live for. I remember waking up, rolling out of bed, putting my hair up and a sweatshirt on, and just praying the day would go by quickly. I got into every college I applied to, and couldn't go to any of them. I ended up at the one school I did NOT want to go to.

Not feeling adequate in any area in my life was not okay with me. But I didn't know how to reach out. So I didn't. I just kept hurting and I just kept it in until I didn't even feel anything anymore.

And then ... Forest Home.

The people there didn't let me go unnoticed.

I can't adequately explain the impact those 16 people had on my life. 

They accepted me, quirks and all (even the weirdest parts), wholeheartedly. Not once did I feel judged. And not once did I cry.

The environment and the people urged me to evaluate my relationship with God. 

I not only re-evaluated, I re-built. 

..and I laughed again. I cried happy tears. I danced like an idiot and I smiled at guests who were rude to me. I learned to accept my body the way it was, love handles and all.

I even brushed off the whale comments.

(I decided that whales were the coolest animals. They are the most hunted animal on earth because everyone wants a piece of them. ;) Oh... and they can eat whatever they want without worrying about their thighs)

I learned to lean on God for my identity, and being a daughter of the Most High King (just like you!!), it's kinda hard not to believe that you are outlandishly special. 

I grew up a lot this summer, to the point where I had to adjust when I came home. Everyone told me that I was different. I knew what it really was. I found joy. 

So, thank you to the people who invested in me this summer. Thank you to the people who dealt with me before. Thank you to my family for making me "take a leap of faith", and thank you to God, who I have faith in.

I love you guys! 

Here is to our summer. 

Love, Bria. 

PS. If you struggle with any of this, please message me! I would love to invest in you and encourage you and just plain walk beside you. I've been in your shoes and I know a bit about how you feel. Also, I'm an open book. Just do it. <3